India’s First ‘Trans Lesbian’ Couple?

Last week, two trans identifying men from India’s most ‘woke’ state of Kerala claimed to be the country’s first ‘trans lesbian’ couple. Media called their announcement “a path breaking decision for the LGBTQ+ community in the state.” A news report said, “they are officially letting everyone know now. They have made no decisions on marriage but have a desire to become the best trans couple in the world and maybe raise a child together one day.”

Aside from the gripe I have against two men calling themselves ‘lesbians’, they couldn’t marry even if they tried, because gay marriage is not legal in this homophobic country. It wasn’t until 2018, that Section 377 – the British colonial penal code that criminalised all sexual acts “against the order of nature” – was even decriminalised. Same sex marriage, inheritance of property, and civil rights are yet to receive legal sanction. Despite the best attempts by advocacy groups, the Central Government opposes same sex marraige as it is “not comparable with Indian family unit concept.”

Earlier this month, when two lesbian women plead the Allahabad Court to recognise their marriage as legal, the Court rejected it, and said any [further] judicial interference will cause “complete havoc with the delicate balance of personal laws.” While lesbians and gender-nonconforming women still face stigma and violence, Indian liberals and corporations have long turned to transition as the answer. Clueless, the media glorifies the companionship of two men (most likely with internalised homophobia) as a revolutionary move towards a society of lesbian acceptance. The reality couldn’t be farther from such a delusion.

As far as “raising a child one day” goes, I have written in detail about the laws surrounding adoption and surrogacy in India. TRAs want to lobby that a ‘female gender identity’ is sufficient to claim ‘womanhood’, and believe that any or all safeguarding set up to protect vulnerable populations from males must be discarded; for they are a ‘woman’ after all.

‘Trans Lesbians’ of India

The term ‘trans lesbian’ is not new to me. Years ago, during my proverbial ‘cancellation’ an Indian man who self identifies as ‘trans lesbian’ on his bio whined about what a threat I am to the ‘trans community’. I don’t wish to dignify his charade by naming him, but he is known for openly glorifying pornography, and his vapid, repulsive fetishised drivel are welcomed in ‘liberal’ online magazines hosted on Medium (where female users have been banned for merely stating the importance of biological sex in women’s safeguarding). He writes about how he masturbates to “women with penises” and proclaims “porn told [him] it was okay to be a girl.” Laughably, this proclamation was made into a poster that circulated among progressive Indian social media circles which is where I first got wind of his flippant, misogynistic views. For those who have the time and stomach to find out more, you could use any of the combination of phrases written above to arrive at his online posts. I just couldn’t find it in me to link to that rubbish. So when the afore-mentioned news item landed on my inbox, I did wonder if it could be this porn sick man and some ‘queer’ woman. Maybe masturbating or writing reviews about porn films got in the way. Oh, and there are thousands of men like/worse than him; the ‘Indian sissy’ subreddit is proof enough- again, feel free to google that yourself if you dare.

‘Lesbian’ is a popular genre on all pornography websites and men are known to be the largest consumers. In the Indian film industry, the trope of same-sex attraction has been used to titilate the audience even if the plot has absolutely no connection with it whatsoever.

Even before the advent of the current ‘gender ideology’, the pornification and fetishisation of lesbianism has brought about acute shame among women to openly express their sexuality. ‘Lesbian’ is a popular genre on all pornography websites and men are known to be the largest consumers. In the Indian film industry, the trope of same-sex attraction has been used to titilate the audience even if the plot has absolutely no connection with it whatsoever. Even films that proclaim to be about same-sex attracted women, any intimate scenes are clipped out and used as fodder for masturbation. Deepa Mehta’s ‘Fire’ (1996), is still used within Indian circles as a slur, where any two women’s close friendship is mocked as a “fire moment,” and treated as a sexually-charged “joke!”

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Just to recap, Kerala is a state that has gone out of its way to be ‘trans inclusive’. I unconditionally support education and employment opportunities for effeminate men who end up being shunned by their families; therefore, I should not be mistaken for someone who is not privy to their struggle in being accepted as non-conforming males. However, I draw the line when these men postulate themselves to be victims in the same way, if not, worse than women. I oppose the race to the bottom saga of oppression olympics, where men demand self ID, infringe upon women’s spaces or the hard-earned rights of affirmative actions, and the sheer entitlement to call oneself a ‘mother’.

This particular Kerala couple in the news go by the names Sruthy Sithara and Daya Gayathri both in their 20s; and are quite active voices among TRA circles in the state. Sruthy Sithara was one of the beneficiaries of the state’s interventions to provide employment opportunities for transgender people.  He worked as a project assistant for the Kerala government’s Social Justice Department. But his instagram timeline seems to imply a career switch as a model replete with the financial benefits from brand endorsements and a whopping 116k followers. This must have been right after he was crowned 2021’s ‘Miss Trans Global’ – also a feat that was apparently a ‘first’ for India.

If ‘passing’ is often seen as an end goal for trans-identifying men, I can imagine how two ‘models’ who walk the ramp would be bewitched by the thought of themselves as a ‘lesbian’ couple.

His ‘lesbian’ lover is a model and a theatre artist. A news report  said “She (sic) will be walking the ramp at the Kozhikode Fashion Week.” It is incredible how in both cases, these men not just masqueraded as ‘women’, but they turned to an industry that actively hypersexualises and objectifies women. So, in some sense, to be a ‘model’ in a sexist Indian society tippifies a modern-day woman, perhaps? If ‘passing’ is often seen as an end goal for trans-identifying men, I can imagine how two ‘models’ who walk the ramp would be bewitched by the thought of themselves as a ‘lesbian’ couple.

Where are India’s same-sex attracted women?

The year was 1987 – long before the dawn of the pronoun-police crying “literal violence” over a broken toenail – two lesbian women in India were subjected to institutional violence with no recourse. Lila Namdeo and Urmila Srivastava, police women of the 23rd battalion, stationed in Bhopal, got married in a solemn temple ceremony with supportive parents and friends around. When word got around, an incensed Inspector General Narendra Virmani ordered the immediate suspension of the women from the police service. Reports say that they were locked up in cells for 48 hours and then unceremoniously dumped at Bhopal railway station around midnight. The media had a field day discussing the event in comedic detail, denying the validity of two women’s capability to fall in love with each other and ceremonialize their romantic union. How dare they not make their relationship about men?!

Several lesbian women have come together and set up support groups in various parts of the country to organise against such intolerance. While it upsets me a great deal that women are having to call themselves woke jargons, and include men in their activism, it is still remarkable what some of the groups have achieved. One such example is of a group called LABIA (Lesbians and Bisexuals in Action) who, in 2015, completed 15 years of their illustrious advocacy; offering legal support, safe space and sisterhood for lesbian and bisexual women. The group brought to light the plight of lesbian women in India through film screenings, protests and campaigns. “It is no more an acronym, we describe ourselves as a queer feminist LBT collective,” said Shals Mahajan, one of the group’s earliest members. They now have women who transition to ‘male’ as part of their group, and I suspect, men who transition to ‘female’ as well. Stories of lesbian women are often overshadowed within the ‘LGBT’ circles just the same. “Our issues and needs are different. For one, sexual health is not that big a concern among homosexual women. The men’s gay rights movement gained momentum in the 1990s because HIV/AIDS became a huge concern. But women’s voices were subdued,” said Chayanika Shah, a member of LABIA.

Even in 2022 as I write this piece, corrective rape, rate of suicides among same-sex attracted women is unbridled. It is unfortunate that the Indian gay liberation/ rights movement has been captured by ‘gender ideology’- where (surprise!) TRAs have plonked themselves at the centre of it all. The ‘trans’ community lobbies that the harmful practices of conversion therapy, corrective rape to “cure disease” that homosexuals face, is an “anti-trans” agenda.

Without condoning violence of any kind, I want to point out how accessing psychiatric interventions to explore body dismorphia is not the same as conversion therapy to “cure” someone of their same-sex attraction. Unless of course the person in question is gay, in denial, claiming to be in the “wrong body.” The UK health secretary’s decision to exercise caution when it comes to conversion therapy for ‘trans youth’ was met with derision and a series of boycotts even as experts tried to point out the benefits of counselling for body dismorphia.

Violence and battery of Lesbian women

In a paper titled ‘The Nature of Violence Faced by Lesbian Women in India’  Bina Fernandez and Gomathy N.b, several excellent points are asserted about the unique status of lesbians in India and therefore the layered violence (physical, emotional and sexual) meted out against them. I would like to include some excerpts from it that aptly encapsulate the situation.

“The epistemic root of the violence faced by lesbians is in the denial of their very existence in Indian society. Lesbianism is often described as a “western import,” and allegedly restricted to the urban elite of Indian society. However, the indisputable evidence of same-sex love in different historical contexts in India and the increasing number of news reports from small towns and rural locations of women attempting to marry other women, are facts that contradict these oft-repeated denials of lesbian existence.”

“In a patriarchal society where compulsory heterosexuality and control over a woman’s sexuality are the norm, the position of lesbians is inextricably linked to the status of women in society, Regardless of sexual orientation, a woman’s sexual freedom is often predicated on her economic independence. In India, women’s sexual choices are constricted: marriage is compulsory, and women rarely have any say in the choice of partner, in the nature and frequency of sexual contact, number and spacing of children etc. Recent studies have shown that women report higher incidence of domestic violence over sexual relations, particularly due to their refusal of sexual contact. In such a hetero-patriarchal context then, for a lesbian to assert her sexuality becomes doubly difficult, even potentially dangerous. A woman who has an intimate sexual relationship with another woman implicitly challenges male control over her sexual life, and is often the target of violent misogyny. This is not to say that other women do not face misogynist violence, but to state that when lesbian women “transgress” the patriarchal boundaries on sexuality, the reason for violence then differs.

The violence that lesbian women experience is gender (sic) violence – not only because they are women, but also because it is specifically directed towards controlling their sexual autonomy. Freedom from violence for lesbians is, therefore, inextricably linked to the issue of sexual autonomy for all women.”

The women who took part in this study explained in painful detail the trauma they suffered because of their sexuality. Their analysis, however, revealed a heartening summary: “even as women experienced extremely adverse consequences of physical violence, eviction from family and home, or public shame and censure were persistent in their resistance, and their attempts to seek support and validation. Significantly, none of the women in the study expressed a wish to change their desire for women.”

Stories like that of the police women who defied the status quo in 80s India are few and far between. Many don’t have the support system to resist the sustained violence and end up killing themselves. Or in the current climate, they opt to transition instead. The consistent theme among ill-treatement of same-sex attracted women remains deeply rooted to the ill-treatment of women overall. Sappho, an LBT group founded in 1999 reaffirms this phenomenon. “In one case, when parents found out about their daughter’s orientation, they got an anti-social element to enter her room at night to sexually assault her and then marry her. They thought that was better than being a lesbian. In another, the girl’s brother demanded sexual favours from the sister in exchange for keeping her secret. Tired of the rape, she agreed to marry but eventually killed herself. Now how does one separate this from patriarchy?” asked Malobika, co-founder of Sappho. With a recorded rape case happening every 16 minutes in India, violence against lesbians dovetails itself into this nightmare.

First they abuse women, then claim to ally with women, and now they want to become women – a telltale sign of a dystopian world where a woman is but a garb for men to tear apart and adorn as a facade.

Here are just some of the instances of suicides:

1988 Oct 15: India Today: Gita Darji and Kishori Shah of Meghraj, Gujarat, two nurses in the local hospital ended their lives in the hospital quarters because they could not bear the separation, which was to be enforced by Gita’s brother after her marriage.

1995 Jan 14 Matrubhoomi: Gita (22) and Saija (16) decided to elope and later committed suicide.

1996 Aug 6 Sameeksha: Two girls from peasant families committed suicide by hanging on the island of Vypeen near Cochin.

2000 Nov Lokmat: Two young women in Gadchiroli district commit joint suicide by jumping into a well together.

2011 February The Telegraph: Swapna and Sucheta killed themselves and their bodies were retrieved from the fields of Nandigram, West Bengal. The bodies remained unclaimed, burnt together on a pyre with nobody to mourn.

2020 May The News Minute: Anjana, a bisexual woman was forcibly taken by her family to two “de-addiction centres” and put on heavy medication by these centres. She hung herself.

The arrogance of men who masquerade as ‘lesbians’ and the people who cheer them on

Words have meanings, and “feelings” don’t warrant any licence to alter them. Men can’t ever be women, two men who claim to be women can’t ever be lesbians. Women are adult human females, and lesbians are same-sex attracted women. No amount of nation-wide gaslighting propaganda can alter that reality. When the condition of women in this country is so fatal, what the trans lobby is attempting to do is yet another form of female erasure. First they abuse women, then claim to ally with women, and now they want to become women – a telltale sign of a dystopian world where a woman is but a garb for men to tear apart and adorn as a facade.